All This Before a Proper Breakfast?
by Frau Snape
Summary: A Melon and Chex. -Mayhem ensues at the breakfast table when Chex and Melon decide to eat with Malfoy.


NEW STORY -- CH1--  
Draco Malfoy was a happy camper. His mother had just sent him an owl chock full of cookies and candies. Hopefully his mood would last throughout the morning, but he doubted it, seeing that Chex Mix, and her most vile and irritating companion Melon Devine were approaching his table.   
"Hey Bishounen!" Chex cooed, sidleing up to Malfoy on one side, petting his ear.  
Malfoy twitched and scooted away, but Melon plopped down on his other side before he could get away.  
"Hey there, blondie. How's tricks this mornin?"  
Melon loved teasing Draco, but mostly because of the attention she got from Professor Snape. This was b/c she was madly in love with the potions master.   
"Daahhhling, I know you're going to share that candy with us, aren't you?" Melon grinned happily at Malfoy.  
Malfoy was on the verge of snapping back, that he would sooner share his candy with Harry Potter than a fat bitch like Melon, when another callow idea popped into his childish mind.  
"I suppose you can have some of my Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans.. " he handed the piggly Gourd a handful of light grey beans, which, to his dismay, she hopped up and made off with immeadiately. Draco watched after her, smirking, as his eyes followed her across the great hall.  
Chex, must have taken Draco's smirk for an encouraging grin, for she babbled on about something completely lame, no doubt. Honestly, the girl didn't know when to shut her big mouth. Malfoy was only interested at this point, in watching Melon's reaction to the sardine-flavoured beans he had just given her. Instead of eatting them like she was supposed to, the dumb gourd was heading for the professor's table, as she sometimes did, to coo and make eyes at professor Snape. This morning, Draco watched with mounting tension as the horrid girl purred at his professor over the morning toast rack. It would just serve her right if she ate one right in front of him, unsuspectingly... But to his horror, she actually took the professor's hand in her own and poured the candies into it, and he could see her mouth something like "absolutely sweet", causing a feirce look from professor McGonagall.   
It was at that moment that the nonsensical words Chex had been babbling came rampaging to his mind all at once where they made some awful sense fianlly- "Don't give Melon Sardine flavoured beans, beacause she's going to give them to your professor Snape, and then you'll be in deep shit. Fool."   
Snape resisted his 'confused' look, but just couldn't refrain from NOT scowling as he looked from the beans to the Melon, as if she were some kind of freak. Then, he popped one in his mouth, nonchalantly.  
CH 2--ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE--  
Draco knew what was coming before it happened, so did Chex, and she made a quick dive under the table as Snape exploded with fury. The poor, miserable Melon, stood horrified, quivering as she recieved the brunt of Snape's all-mighty-fury. McGonagall stepped in to try and physically detatch the furious Snape from the Melon's hair, before she remembered she had her wand. While all of this unfolded, the entire school looked on with mixed excitement. Melon swooned from over emoting, and as Severus let go of her hair, her limp body collapsed to the floor.  
Draco was rocking back and forth on the bench with silent laughter, until Chex gave him a great SHOVE onto the floor. Then she crawled along the floor, still under the table, until she reached the end, which was quite close to the dias on which the staff table was situated, and where the still limp body of Melon Devine lay. Under the cover of chaos, Chex tried to pull the gourd out of harm's way, under the table with her, but the dead wieght of a big fat gourd made for slow work.  
More unfortunately for the Chex, Snape had freed himself from McGonagall, and happened to see her, tugging at Melon from under the table.  
Before she knew what was happening, she and the half-daid melon were both dragged out from under the table and each tossed over a rough, black shoulder for all the school to see. From her veiw point, Chex saw an -upside-down-McGonagall shriek and dash after them, with a cry of "WHERE ARE YOU TAKING THEM?"  
- To which they were spun about as Severus answered- Severely- "To the Head Master, of course, behaviour like this deserves nothing short of expulsion."   
From this view point, Chex could see the entire student body, gaping at them. Draco Malfoy was grinning with laughter so widely she could see every one of his white teeth. She vowed to scalp him when she got out of this. Rip his platinum hair out by the roots! She caught a glimpse of her brother, standing in the middle of the room, a toast rack hanging limply from his finger,forgotten; his eyes bugging out of their sockets.. apparently he hadn't moved the whole time..   
Chex was distracted by the sight of a small striped cat dashing past them out the Hall door. Snape strode after it.  
--CH3-- AHH, THANK HEAVENS FOR SMALL GREEN MIRACLES---  
Two hours later, The now concious Melon emerged with Severus Snape from his office. They met Dumbledore, Chex, and McGonagall, who were waiting patiently for them over tea/ coke. Dumbledore, being a superbrain, was the only one who wasn't suprised to see both parties smiling warmly.  
Snape gave an almost apologetic look, before announcing:  
"Melon has explained to me the nature of the misunderstanding. I must apologise. I am willing to admit I was wrong about her intentions, and I also think that Mr. Malfoy is in definite need of imediate discipline."  
The ladies gaped, awed.   
"Melon??" Was all Chex could manage. Later, she was to discover, from the gourd's own mouth, that of course Melons were magical, and that really, it was HOW you said something rather than what you said... "But Dumbledore could've told you that", she grinned. 


End file.
